var messages

function whatToSay() {
  getMessages(); 
  var message = messages[Math.floor(Math.random()*messages.length)]
  document.getElementById("results").innerHTML = message;
  window.scrollTo(0,0);
}

function getMessages() {
messages =  
[ 
 "Sorry, I can't make it.  I have a report due that day.",  
 "Ohh, I'd love to come but my beloved pet has... well, I'd rather not talk about it.",  
 "For sure, I'll see you there!  <br/><br/>*Note: This one is not very nice.",  
 "No can do.  I'm double-booked during that time slot.",  
 "I won't be able to make it.  I have a flight to catch and I'm running late.",  
 "I have to run - nature's calling, and I better answer right now!",  
 "Can't do it.  My relatives are staying with us, so I *wish* I could, but...",  
 "Sorry, I'm washing my hair that day.",  
 "Sorry, can't make it.  I have to get my cat spayed that day.",  
 "Ohhh I almost forgot, I have another appointment then.",  
 "My kid has soccer practice (haha good old soccer practice).<br/><br/>*Note: Don't say that last part aloud.",  
 "Can't do it.  It's my kid's concert recital that night.  Sorry.",  
 "When is it again?  Oh no I'll be out of town on that day.",  
 "Sorry it's my dog's birthday party that day.",  
 "I can't make it then.  My car is in the shop.",  
 "Can't do it.  I'm waiting for a really important phone call.",  
 "Can't leave the house - I'm watching Jon and Kate Plus Eight right now",  
 "I have nothing to wear so I think I'll pass on that.  Thanks, though.",  
 "I can't get my regular babysitter that night.",  
 "Ow!!  Sorry I just stubbed my toe.  I'll have to get back to you.",  
 "Sorry, I can't make it.  I have to pooper-scoop my yard that day.",  
 "I had a root canal today so I won't really be able to enjoy my evening anyway.",  
 "I feel bloated and not really in the mood for going out.",  
 "Sorry I can't make it.  I'm building a treehouse that day.",  
 "I'm defrosting my fridge that afternoon.",  
 "I'm cleaning my oven that day.",  
 "I'm weeding my yard that afternoon.",  
 "I have to go.  I forgot to check the dryer.",  
 "Sorry, I can't.  I'm moving.",  
 "Oh whoops, that's the day that I'm sleeping in.  Wish I could be there though.",  
 "Sorry, I can't make it.  It's my kid's birthday that day and we're having a party that entire weekend.",  
 "Sorry, I'm busy coming up with a fresh bunch of excuses that day.",  
 "Sorry, I just can't make it back in town in time to attend.",  
 "I'd like to but I don't really like you.  But I mean that in a nice way!",  
 "I dyed my hair and my roots are uneven.  Sorry, I have to spend that day doing a re-do.  It might take the weekend, actually.",  
 "I have to go bail my friend out of jail that day.  It's kind of more important, sorry.",  
 "Oh goodness - grandma went missing again.  I gotta go find her!  Excuse me.",  
 "Carry on talking - I'll be back in a minute.",  
 "Umm.. (crinkle paper into phone).. I'm losing the connection.  Will have to call you back!",  
 "Wow, I ate some really spicy food and have to go pay for it right now, if you know what I mean.  Sorry.",  
 "Sorry, my nan's coming that day.  I have to spend the day with her.",  
 "I'm getting my shot(s) that day.",  
 "Can't talk now - I'm driving under a very long tunnel.",  
 "Sorry, I have to run to the bank at the moment.  Can we talk later?",  
 "I can't make it that day.  It's my uncle Louie's birthday.",  
 "I think I hear someone at the door - sorry, I have to let you go!",  
 "Sorry I have to go - I'm late for lunch and my stomach is really grumbling.",  
 "Sorry, I'm leading the discussion at my book club today.  I have to get going.",  
 "Sorry, I have to go to the polling station to vote.  Talk to you later.",  
 "Oh no - my contact lens just popped out!  I'll have to call you back after I find it.",  
 "My stomach is making an unpleasant sound right now - I have to run!",  
 "Oh no, I can't make it that evening.  My uncle Louie needs a ride to the airport and I have to drop him off.",
 "I'm shaving my back that evening. I'm starting to look like Wolverine.<br/><br/>*Note to women: It's up to you whether you want to use this one, or to hit the button again.",  
 "I'm baking a pecan pie that day.",  
 "I have a conference to go to that weekend.",  
 "I'm going to the spa that weekend.",  
 "I have to paint my house that weekend.",  
 "I have to unclog my toilet - let's just say that there was an *incident* the other day.",  
 "I'm going to the cabin that weekend.",  
 "Sorry, but my close relative is not feeling well and I have to go and check on them.",  
 "OMG!!!!! I left my kid at home with the stove and the oven on! I'm sorry but I gotta go!",  
 "Sorry, I'm late to the movies.  I'm watching Harry Potter with my girfriend.",  
 "Can't make it.  My pet's sick and I don't want to leave them alone at home.",  
 "Oh I can't... I have to finish my chores and get ready for a concert later.",  
 "Sorry, my favourite TV show is on now and I don't have a TiVo!",  
 "Can't make it.  I've got a dinner party to attend then.",  
 "Sorry I got a flat tire (on cell).  Can't make it anywhere right now!",  
 "Sorry, I can't come.  I'm working on the next great novel right now.",  
 "I can't make it.  I'm visiting my spouse's relatives at the zoo that day.",  
 "Sorry I can't make it.  I'm grounded right now.  Yes I know I'm an adult.", 
 "I can't.  I have to pick the kids up early from school that day",   
 "I would really like to go there but I can't. I am looking after a neighbours cat that is sick",  
 "Oh sorry, but I'll be sick that day",    
 "I'm in a hot-dog eating contest that weekend.", 
 "My pet rock died the other day... I have to attend his funeral.",  
 "Sorry but my goldfish ran away again and I have to go look for it.", 
 "Me estoy haciendo popo! Apurate! / I'm in the washroom (number two, if you must know). Can't talk now!<br/><br/>(Gracias to Luisa for this entry)", 
 "No can do.  I'll be judging a science fair that day.",  
 "I've seen that movie already. It was alright, I guess..",  
 "I'm returning all of my empty beer bottles that day.",  
 "Can't make it out tonight.  I'm watching Twilight for the 100th time.",  
 "I'm busy right now trying to get some bubblegum out of my hair.  Sorry, but I can't talk now..",  
 "Sorry, I have to make love to my wife.",  
 "Sorry, my dentist called and changed my appointment at the last moment.",  
 "Sorry that's the day I have to tend to my vegetable garden.",
 "Sorry, but I can't make it then.  I've got a class that evening.",  
 "Excuse me, I hate to cut our conversation short, but I really must go to the bathroom right now.<br/><br/>*Bonus: Hold stomach for effect.",  
 "Oh, I almost forgot - that's the day I'm supposed to clean out my basement.  Sorry, maybe next time.",  
 "Can't make it out that night.  I'm taking my kid to the ball game.",  
 "Ohhh, I'd love to but I've already committed to making 500 cupcakes for my kid's bake sale that weekend.  Sorry!",  
 "I can't - I have to study for my advanced calculus exam.  You can imagine how much I'd rather be there with you instead, but I really have to pass this one.",  
 "Where is that, again?  Oh sorry, I'm going to be at the opposite end of town that whole day.",  
 "Not gonna happen.  I have to study for my paleontology exam that evening.  I'd really rather be there with you though.",  
 "Sorry, I have to run and feed the parking meter!" 
]
}

function clearAll() {
  document.getElementById("results").innerHTML = "";
}